


Keep Your Enemies Closer and Your Friends At Arms Length

by baloou24



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-17
Updated: 2013-12-24
Packaged: 2018-01-01 19:48:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1047877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baloou24/pseuds/baloou24
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Felicity and Oliver are heart broken after Oliver revels what is actually going on in his mind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Friends At Arms Length

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Notes: This has been floating around my head and I've been meaning to get this down on "paper" because my mind keeps running around with what I want for Olicity.
> 
> ~*~Spoiler of Season Two Episode Six~*~
> 
> *I do not own the characters of Arrow*
> 
> This is my first fan-fiction, I do not have a beta, and all of the mistakes are my own.

Felicity walked into her apartment and looked to see if there was anything out of place. Her living room had everything in place. Her leather couch had a homemade blanket from her old MIT roommate's mother. There was also her Star Trek pillow cased pillow next to the blanket. Her bookcases still had her mini library of computer science and eclectic books; the other from ceiling to floor full of DVD's of her favorite TV shows and movies. Her coffee table was full of USB drives, random charging cords, the past six months of magazine subscriptions. Her 32-inch LCD flat screen on her entertainment center started collecting dust around it from the lack of use the past year since being a part of Team Arrow.

Nothing out of place here

However deep inside something was different. She walked towards her bedroom and turned on the light. It was starting to become a mess. There were clothes starting to pile up around her queen size bed. She walked over to the desk in front of her window and started booting up the computer.

Walking back to the back of her bedroom to her bathroom. The woman standing in the mirror in front of her was someone she did not recognize. Her hair was out of place, unlike earlier when her hair was brushed and clean. Also she has streams of make-up tears down her face. Now starting to have raccoon eyes also. Looking for her make-up remover pad, she carefully took the make-up off of her face. Washed it and put on her face moisturizer.

Much better. At least I do not look like a homeless bum anymore.

Walking out of her bathroom she walked carefully to her computer. She logged into the Foundry's security feeds to be sure to keep an eye there.

Sighing, seeing that Oliver and Diggle were not on the news feed. She stood up and started looking again for things out of place. Starting with her suitcase from their trip to Russia was still next to the door.

I really need to get rid of those clothes.

Then it hit her like a punch into her stomach. Tears started swelling in her eyes.

"Because of the life I lead- I think that it is better to not- to be with someone I could really care about. "

Before Felicity could control her thoughts and her emotions she yelled in her empty apartment, "GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" She broke down and started crying uncontrollability on her floor.

After what seemed hours she pulled herself off the floor and pushed her back against the wall. She grabbed her phone and texted the last person she even wanted to think about.

"Hey Oliver, I am not feeling well and would like to stay home tomorrow so I do not get anyone else sick. Will you be ok without me tomorrow? I will send you an email with tomorrow's agenda."

Light, friendly, casual. I hope that he does not notice a thing.

Her phone buzzed on the floor.

"Is everything ok? Do you need anything? I can be there in ten minutes. And of course you can have the day off tomorrow. I'm surprised you even asked."

Oh yeah, after that lovely conversation today in the office. Oliver Queen doesn't miss a thing.

"Don't need anything at the moment. Be safe out there tonight. Hopefully I'll be in the Foundry tomorrow night"

Time to find sleep.

Felicity walked into her kitchen, grabbed any cup she could find, the bottle of red wine on the counter. Walking back to her bedroom, pouring herself a glass.

I really hope that I will find sleep tonight.

This hurts so much.

Because unless she was reading way into what had happened.

He does care about me, a lot.

She drank as much as she could before lying down on her bed; still her work clothes, crying herself to sleep.

He looked through her window after reading that text message.

She just needs some time alone, to process. I will just make sure that she makes it to sleep tonight before heading back to the Foundry.

Felicity gets up off the ground and disappears from Oliver's sight. He tried shifting around the roof of the next building seeing if he could catch what was going on inside. She saw Felicity once again with tears streaming down her face. Drinking a cup of what looked like alcohol of some type. Collapsed on her bed, hugging a pillow, crying even more into it.

I cannot watch this any longer. I have to do and say something.

Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.

Felicity. Please be Felicity.

Nope. His phone read John Diggle. "Hey Digg"

"Oliver? Where are you?"

"It's a long story. Are you down for a cold one?"

"What happened? Does it have something to do with Russia? I knew something was up between you and Felicity"

"I'll tell you everything. Just not over the phone, ok Digg"

"Ok I'll see you at the Foundry in twenty minutes."

She's strong. This needs to happen so she can move on with her life.

With Oliver only needing twelve minutes to make it to the club from her apartment. He had seven minutes left before he had to leave.

And used every second watching her cry herself to sleep.


	2. An Honest Conversation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver and John have a conversation with a surprise at the end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Hey everyone! I appreciate the comments, messages, followers and favorites. My mind has been in over drive this weekend so here is chapter two. Just warning you, it is finals time at my university and I am not guarantee that I will be posting like I have this weekend.
> 
> Enjoy and please comment! :)

Walking into the basement of the club was much harder then Oliver ever accepted. Felicity was beyond heart broken and he did not know what to do.

_Hopefully John will know what I should do._

_Honestly, everything that has happened after Russia, things are going to have to change._

The Foundry looked different. As Oliver walked down the stairs with a few beers from the bar, all he could do was stare at Felicity's computer desk.

_I have to follow through with this. She deserves better then this. I cannot afford to lose her…_

He slowly walked over to her desk. His moved his hand around the outline of the chair.

"She's going to kill you once she finds out that you touched her chair."

A smile crept up onto Oliver's face.  _Yeah I'm very well aware of Felicity's ownership of the computer desk down here._

"Yea, well I would love to have that quarrel any day"

Diggle stopped a few feet away from Oliver. Pulling a chair with him and sat down. He was rung out. Still had his cuts from Russia on his face. But also relaxed.

"How's Lyla?" Oliver asked, already having an idea of the answer.

"She's wonderful. We are… um," He paused looking for the right words, "We are going to take things slow this time around."

A slight smile crept up on his face.

"I'm glad to hear that you are getting some down time Digg. You work too hard."

He laughed. "You should look in the mirror one of these days yourself Queen."

_Too late. Hints why I am doing what I am doing._

"Now the reason why we are here," as he popped open on of the beers Oliver brought down. "What has happened between you and Felicity?"

Oliver sighed deeply. Not sure where to start.

In a hushed voice Diggle said words that cut to Oliver's core, "Did you sleep with her?"

_Oh my god. Really Diggle?!_

"No! I would never do that to Felicity," Oliver rushed through his words. It was panicked, hurt, and guilt all at once.

_I would make sure it was more then a one-night stand when it comes to her._

"Then what happened?" Then took another sip of his beer. Allowing Oliver all the time he needed to respond to that question.

_The truth? Or lie? It's Diggle and if I want to fix this I have to be honest. How do I be_ _that_ _honest?_

Oliver took a huge breath in before saying the next words with as little emotion as possible, "I did not sleep with Felicity, however I did sleep with Isabel."

Diggle was outraged, "What?! Why did you do that?"

"At the moment it was the only thing that I could do to keep Isabel quiet in Russia. It was rash and a mistake. It meant nothing to me. However I hurt Felicity in the process. Honestly I need to keep our enemies closer, and that was the way I needed to keep close to not figure out. And Felicity saw Isabel leave my room."

John let out a chuckle, "You dug yourself one hell of a hole Queen."

_No shit Sherlock_

"John I have no idea how to fix this with her," Oliver said with so much pain in his voice.

"Have you guys said anything about it since you've gotten back?"

"That's the kicker, we have talked and I made it worse."

John raised his head to look Oliver in the eye, leaned forward; bracing himself for the train wreck Oliver was going to explain.

"I told her 'Because of the life I lead, I think that it is better to not, to be with someone I could really care about.' Her main response was that I deserved better. John she had tears in her eyes. Without knowing it we  _belong_  to each other, and then I go and fuck it up by sleeping with Isabel."

John paused. Taking all in.

"Oliver, what do you want?"

_No Digg. Anything but that question._

The emotions running across Oliver's face was as if Diggle was reading a book.

"Listen Oliver, if you care about her, just tell her already. Be with her. If you don't care about her then let her go. Stringing her along for this roller coaster will only hurt her more in the end."

Oliver placed his head in his hands. Frustration now coming over him, he ran his hands through his hair, stood up and said the words that he has kept inside, "Digg I really care about her. The last thing I want to do is lose her because the hood stuff hurts her or worse kills her."

He stood there. Shocked that he actually said that.

_Well if I want to try to even attempt to fix this, here goes all of the truth._

"To top it all off, when she finds out about my demons that happened on the island. I know for a fact she will not want to be with me. I sure as hell wouldn't"

Diggle looked at him, "First off, all of this you are doing is bull shit. How about you let her decide whether or not she wants you. Instead of making that decision for her?"

Another hit in his gut by a two by four.

"Because she deserves better," Oliver admitted, his voice was barely above a whisper.

Diggle looked Oliver straight in the eye, "How about you let her decide that instead of you."

Oliver stood up, walked over to one of the dummies in the training area and started pounding away.

_That is the last thing I want to do. And who knows how long Felicity is going to avoid me._

* * *

Felicity looked up from the Foundry security feed and stared at the window behind the computer.

_What do I do now?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think?


	3. River Throwing Rocks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver giving Felicity some comfort after The Count dies. Episode Spoilers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A\N: Hello Everyone, sorry for posting so late. I have been busy with finals and the holiday season. I hope you enjoy this post (ugh to time off from Arrow) and please comment your thoughts!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Felicity trudged into her apartment, leaning on the wall, she took off her heels carefully by the front door. Tears started to stream down her face.

_That was the worst evening ever._

She walked through the apartment to her bathroom.

_Just do not look at yourself. Come on Felicity. Take off this dress and clean yourself up. The Count did what he did. Oliver did what he had to do. It is what it is and do not dwell on how things went._

The events of the evening are going through her mind like a movie. Count touching her, all over. Oliver killing him. Moria becoming not guilty. Oliver squeezing her hand.

She turned on her shower, _hotter the better tonight._

She scrubbed the grime of the count touching her as much as he could.

You would think after shampooing twice and on the third body scrub this feeling would go away.

More flashes of the past few weeks flowing through her mind: _"Digg I really care about her. The last thing I want to do is lose her because the hood stuff hurts her or worse kills her."...."To top it all off, when she finds out about my demons that happened on the island. I know for a fact she will not want to be with me. I sure as hell wouldn't"_

The tears are now flowing freely down her face. They will not stop. Now it is becoming more of a panic attack than anything.

_I have to do something. I can not get this feeling out of my skin._

* * *

 

Oliver was in his bedroom in the mansion pacing.

It makes no sense. How did my mother get cleared of her charges. Did someone buy the jury off?

His phone buzzing breaks him from his thoughts.

_"Oliver, are you awake?-Felicity"_

"Felicity?" His voice sounded loud due do the silence he's had for the past few hours in his bedroom.

_"I never sleep Felicity, you should now that by now-Oliver"_

Oliver stopped pacing and started staring out onto the ground of the property.

_Come on Felicity, text me back. What's wrong? Please tell me you are ok. You have to be ok._

**Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.**

_"I can not sleep. I can not get this out of my mind and I do not know what to do. Any suggestions?-Felicity"_

Oliver gave a sigh of relief and anger at the same time.

_"On my way-Oliver"_

* * *

 

_"On my way-Oliver"_

Felicity looked at herself in her bathroom mirror. Most of her makeup off her face, eyes puffy and red, and body still shaking.

_He can not see me like this._

_"You don't have to come over Oliver. I'm fine. I promise. Just wanted to see if you had any suggestions.-Felicity"_

She walked into her bedroom and tossed her phone on her bed. Walked over to her dresser and pulled out clean underwear, black tank top, MIT sweatshirt, and her Tinker Bell cartoon pajama bottoms.

_I really hope he doesn't come. I just didn't know who else to ask._

After putting on her clothes. The flashes continued through her mind.

"GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" she screamed, surprising even herself. She ran into her living room and put the cable on hoping for a distraction.

_BBC America: Top Gear. Something is better than nothing._

Tears once again were flowing down her face, no matter how hard she tried they just kept coming out of her eyes.

**Tap. Tap. Tap**

That is not my front door.

Looking through her window in her living room, there stood Oliver Queen.

Felicity stood up, wiped away her tears on her sweatshirt and opened the window. Oliver slipped through with such grace that it took Felicity's breath away.

Before she could say anything he grabs her into his chest for the warmest hug Felicity could remember receiving. Her head fit perfectly between his pecks on his chest. His body is hard as a rock, but soft for Felicity. She broke down. Now her mind is completely focused on the touching The Count did to her. Trying to focus on Oliver holding her tight. His voice broke the silence between them after a couple of minutes of embrace that they both have denied themselves.

"So if this is you're fine, I'd hate to see bad" he chuckled.

I looked into his deep blue eyes and then stopped breathing. The tears stopped.

"You ok Felicity? You stopped breathing" he pulled away and placed his hands on Felicity's shoulders.

A deep breath finally found Felicity's lungs and she struggled saying the next words to keep it light, "Any suggestions?"

Oliver smiled and breathed just as deeply as Felicity, "I have a few, want to try something?"

"I'm down for almost anything" _Please keep this light Oliver, No comfort sex. That's the last thing I need to do is to take our relationship to casual sex._

As if he read her mind, the next words out of his mouth blew her mind, "Have you ever meditated before?"

"No" Not the response I expected.

"I learned it while I was on the island. It helps me to stay grounded and not live in fear." He walked away from her, grabbing the remote and turned off the TV. He sat on the couch and patted the cushion for her to sit down.

Felicity walked slowly to the couch. In shock of the turn of events that was going on in her apartment.

_What is going on. I do no get it._

"What we need to do is quiet your mind down. What exactly is causing your mind to race." He paused, holding down the anger and hate running through his body. "I know it has to deal with The Count but in order to calm your mind, I... I need to know what is floating in between your ears."

_He's joking right?_

Felicity swallowed and paused. "I... ummm," _Gosh, this is awkward._ "He kept touching me," Oliver got extremely tense, "Not inappropriately just I can not get that gut feeling out of me." Felicity paused again waiting for Oliver's reaction that would never come. "Plus I keep replaying tonight like it is a movie in my head. I just want it to stop."

He got into a more comfortable spot on her couch. "Alright then, there are two things we could do. The first is "safe place" vacation. I personally like to go to a river and throw rocks." He stopped. It was like he could not bear to say the other suggestion.

"Oliver, what's behind door number two?"

He hesitated. "From what I saw he was touching you the way someone who was romantically involved with you would. So replace The Count with someone you would rather touch you that way."

_Oh my gosh, Oliver._

Her body reacted before her mind could catch up with her. Heat was rising all over her body, especially in her core.

_Say door number one! Say it! Say it!_

Felicity could feel her ramblings coming up, "I say door number one, only because I really do not want to talk about my sex life to you. Not that I couldn't talk to you about my sex life per say... oh gosh 4...3...2...1..."

All Oliver could do was smile at her, "Ok then, door number one it is. Where do you want to go?"

_Where? Seriously Oliver!?_

"How about your river? I love throwing rocks."

"The river it is."

* * *

 

Oliver woke up to Felicity curled up next to him on her couch. The main menu of the first Harry Potter movie playing on her TV screen. His phone said that it was 6:43am.

_I am glad she found sleep. Too early to wake her up. Maybe I could carry her to her bed._

He carefully lifted her up off her couch and carried her to her bedroom. Placed her on her bed and put her blanket from her couch on top of her.

_I have to leave her a note or something._

Then he looked at her. She looked peaceful and relaxed, a rare sight of Felicity Smoak.

_I can't do that. I can not stay. It'll make things worse for her._

Before he knew it, he crawled onto her bed, curled her into him and drifted immediately back to sleep.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A\N: Thoughts?

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment with your thoughts :)


End file.
